Vermin Supreme Promises:

To do something about the weather... "Too damn hot in the summer... too damn cold in the winter." Possibilities understudy include: a.) a weather dome over the entire city for climate control. b.) the physical relocation of the entire city to a more hospitable climate or c.) simply throwin' out anyone who complains.
Since individual liberties can be counterproductive to a smooth running corporate climate, and since police represent law and order, martial law will be imposed upon election (or coup d'etat, whichever comes first.)
To make crime against the law! combat illiterates! Fight the unemployed! And stop pregnant teenagers! These statistics can easily be lowered by manipulating the figures upon which they are based.
Polygraph, drug tests and loyalty oaths for all citizens, along with the issuance of citizen identity cards, radio transmitter implants and laser fingerprint tattoos to keep track of you and your children, for your protection. Remember, no one's a criminal until we say you are.
To utilize the powers the powers of the eminent domain. To demolish some of the more tasteless structures in town. Require vinyl siding on historical landmarks preserving our cultural heritage for future generations of tourists to come.
Making dangerous weapons available to anyone who wants them in order to help facilitate the formation of a government-sponsored vigilante death squad, lynch mob militia to help take the law back to our own hands. To help in the selected elimination of certain anarchists, communists, street scum and other trouble-makers to be defined at whim and subject to change without warning.
Massive and arbitrary censorship of anything found offensive by an appointed truth and morality squad. Severe restriction of information that could be harmful to you or your children, because as we all know, what you don't know can't hurt you.
To make the homeless disappear. Poof! As if by magic, presto chango. Out of sight, out of mind. Where did they go? Oh, well, you don't really want to know now do you? Nope. Not really. I didn't think so.
To achieve nuclear capability for our little town taking more guff from neighboring municipalities over contaminating "their" ground water and other such "sour grapes".
Placement of lots of little toxic biochemical, hazardous and/or nuclear waste dumps in your backyards. We must all share in the burden of disposal.
Legalization of prostitution and gambling along with the promotion of professional sports, video arcades, and crack houses together with other mindless forms of diversion to help you take your mind off what's really going on.

Vermin Supreme also promises:


To appoint lots of committees to look into all sorts of things.

To tax the bejeezus out of everything.

To pave over everything that has not been paved over yet.

Legislation to make teeth brushing after every meal mandatory.

Free pizza and beer for everybody.

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SO CONFIDENT IN HIS ABILITY TO LEAD
SO EAGER TO IMPOSE HIS WILL ON THE PEOPLE...

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Vermin supreme has already ordered a feasibility study on the possibility of taking his rightful office through force if necessary, but in all moderation has promised to call in an air strike only if really, really necessary. Vermin Supreme shall be held unaccountable to no one. Yes some politicians are above the law. They make them. Vermin Supreme knows that you, the public, will believe anything you are told. Yes, through continuing miseducation, controlled media, and lots of cheerful euphemisms, you'll never know what hit you.
Remember, work will make you free.

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Vermin Supreme reserves the right to deny everything.